Confusion
by Elamae
Summary: Adam is having confusing thoughts over his feelings towards a certain Duck...
1. Default Chapter

Title: Confusion  
Author: Elamae  
Fandom: Mighty Ducks (Movies)  
Pairing: Charlie/Adam  
Rating: R - for pre-slash  
Series: Discoveries Series. Wasn't originally going to be as series...*sigh* but the muses took over and there are another five parts to come  
Summary: Adam is having thoughts over his feelings towards a certain Duck...  
Feedback: Gods yes! Flames no. I'm a sensitive little soul....  
Disclaimer: Mighty Ducks do not belong to me, Disney own them all. This story has nothing to do with Disney and the author intends no infringement of copyright.  
Authors Note:  
  
Confusion  
by Elamae  
Adam's POV.  
  
  
I think I may be gay  
  
I can sense your eyebrows rise. Well, put yourself in my position, I've only just come to this conclusion.   
  
Well.....possibility.  
  
Because, you see, I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm....confused.  
  
Heh. Figures right?  
  
It's all sort of crept up on me. But I keep telling myself I'm still young. Too young to know anything for sure. Aren't I?  
  
I feel like I'm going round in circles and I think I have been for a while. Ever since I joined the Ducks, if I'm honest.   
  
And the cause of all this confusion? Well, it's all down to one person.  
  
Charlie Conway.  
  
Ever since I met Charlie, back when they were still District 5, I felt a pull towards him. I wanted to get to know him, be his friend. But of course I was a Hawk and he was just District 5, the loser's team and of course later the Ducks. We were at opposite ends. But, he just seemed like a nice guy that I would have liked to get to know.   
  
When I joined the Ducks, Charlie was the first one, the only one at first, to try to welcome me to the team. I couldn't believe it, after all that we had or I had done to him as a Hawk.  
  
After we won the state championships, it was Charlie who made me feel like I was part of the team, a real Duck. All of them welcomed me, even Jesse, but it was Charlie who helped me to join in and although we weren't best friends by a long shot I felt we *were* friends and that was something that I treasured. I'd been right to get to know him. He was every bit as....wonderful as I'd believed him to be.   
  
Maybe that's what triggered it, I don't know. These feelings I have for him. I've tried to understand it; tried to work out just what exactly it is I feel, but I'm scared. Scared of what it means; or what it might mean.  
  
Sat here in the dorms with the others listening to them drone on about girls, I'm convinced I am though. Gay, I mean. Everyone else is joining in enthusiastically and I'm feeling a bit left out; again. I try, but my hearts not in it. I wonder if anyone notices.  
  
I like girls. I have a few friends who are girls. I've got nothing against them. I just can't see what all the fuss is about. I feel I should be 'noticing' girls by now, everybody else seems to be. Maybe I'm just a slow developer or something. I do *have* feelings, they're just not for any *girls* that I know. Girls just don't hold no interest for me.  
  
Maybe I'm not the only one.  
  
As I glance around the room, my eye lights on Charlie, as it usually does. I notice that not all of his attention looks focused on what the others are saying and his smile looks rather fixed. Not the genuine Charlie smile that I'm used to seeing. As I look at him, he seems to sense my gaze because he looks up and his eyes meet mine. He shoots me a smile, a real one this time and I return it somewhat shyly before he turns back to the discussion.   
  
I have a horrible suspicion I may be blushing. I duck my head and try to look as inconspicuous as possible. I try hard not to read anything into his look, but I can feel my heart race anyway. I allow myself to wonder if maybe Charlie feels the same as me. Joining in with the others because he feels he has to, that he should, but that he doesn't have any more interest in girls than I do. I shouldn't allow myself to dream like this, because that's all it is; a dream. A dream that Charlie would feel for me what I feel for him.   
  
I don't even know what I feel......  
  
Is it the types of feelings that other boys have for girls? I don't know. I've seen Guy when he's with Connie and part of me believes it is. That what I'm feeling for Charlie is what I should be feeling for a girl. Of course another part of me scoffs at the idea, the same part though, that is scared rigid of the idea.......  
  
Do I want to hold him? Kiss him, like I've seen Connie and Guy kiss?  
  
All at once I feel my body go hot. Blood rushes to my face and I feel light-headed. Oh God, I pray that no one has noticed. I glance against my will, over at Charlie and jump slightly when I realise that he is watching me, a concerned expression on his face.   
  
With a muttered 'sorry' I scramble to my feet and head out of the dorm room. There's a muttered 'hey' as I catch someone's hand on the way out but other that that no one seems to notice my exit. It's after curfew but no one is around outside. I don't go out of the building though, just up the corridor to the bathroom to splash some water on my over heated face.   
  
As I'm leant over the sink I hear the door behind me open and its like a sixth sense, but I know it's Charlie.   
  
"Hey, Adam. Are you okay?" His soft voice is gentle in the darkness of the deserted bathroom.   
  
I look up and meet his eyes through the mirror. He's stood there in boxers and a T-shirt and for some reason this makes me feel uncomfortable. I muster a smile though.   
  
"I'm fine. Just got a little hot in there, I think. Stuffy, you know."  
  
"Yeah, it can get a little 'ripe' in there, shall we say." Charlie grinned and I grinned back, suddenly feeling a little easier.   
  
"Were you as bored in there as I was?"  
  
Charlie's question takes me by surprise and I start. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Girls. I mean, they're nice and all that. Connie's great, but the way they were talking in there you'd think they were...I don't know...." He smiled and rolled his eyes. He leant up against the wall and sighed. "God, I'm tired."  
  
"Are you okay?" I turn to face him, water dripping from my face and reach over to snag a paper towel.   
  
"Yeah." He cocks his head at me, still leaning against the wall and smiles. "Just wiped that's all. Catches up with you after a while."  
  
"Yea," I scrub my face dry, "I know what you mean."  
  
"How long do you think these guys are going to be up yakking?"  
  
"I have no idea, but they showed no signs of quitting when we were in there."  
  
"No. If anything, I *think* they were getting louder."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Portman and Fulton have a room of their own. Do you think they'd mind if we swapped and took their room tonight?"  
  
"I...I don't know." My heart suddenly doubled in time and I wasn't sure why. It wasn't like Charlie and I hadn't slept in the same room for the last two weeks anyway. "We can ask I suppose."  
  
"Yeah, come on. I don't think I'm going to last much longer."  
  
As he turned, his mouth opened in a massive yawn. I chuckled and followed him through the door, smothering one of my own.   
  
Fulton and Portman were more than happy to swap and within five minutes Charlie and I were settling down into their room. All our beds were changed this morning so its into clean fresh smelling sheets that I sink down into. I hear Charlie groan softly as he does the same and the sound makes my skin tingle. I bury my chin into the sheets.   
  
"Night, Adam." There was some shuffling sounds as Charlie moved around and then stillness as he settled.   
  
"Night, Charlie," I manage to get out. How unnerving is it, I ponder, to be musing about the possibility that you are gay and then end up sharing a double room with the object of your confused feelings?  
  
I wake once during the night. The room is dark and as I look over at Charlie's bed all I can see is a lump in the sheets and the suggestion of curly hair. I turn over to face Charlie and settle back down again.   
  
In the morning I blink as sunlight floods the room, catching me in the eye and waking me fully straight away. This is Portman's bed; odds are he closes the curtain at night if the sun does this every morning. Shifting to one side I glance at my watch and note that its still fairly early still. We've a few hours before our morning practice.   
  
Charlie is still asleep. He's turned over on his front during the night and is curled around his pillow, hugging it. He looks so cute like that and I know I sound like a complete girl saying that, but this morning I don't care, its true. His face is relaxed and his breathing even. He looks so peaceful.   
  
There's a loud crash right outside the door plus some swearing as someone drops what sounds like all of their stuff on the floor. Charlie jerks awake instantly, his eyes on the door, his body poised to flee. I watch as his wide eyes fix on the door and my brows furrows slightly. His gaze flickers to me after a moment.   
  
"Morning, Charlie."  
  
"Morning." He sits upright on the bed, back against the head rest and scrubs his eyes. Rubbing his hand through his hair it sticks up even more than it was.   
  
I push myself upright under the covers and wrap my arms around my raised knees. "Are you okay?" I query. "You seem a little jumpy."  
  
"Yeah," he croaked in a sleep infested voice. "Just startled me that's all." He shook his head slightly as though to clear it and then turned and flashed me a grin. "What time is it?"  
  
"Just past six."  
  
"Do you think the guy's will be up yet?"  
  
"Depends on how late they stayed up," I smirked. "They may be up in time for practise. Don't know about breakfast though."  
  
Charlie grinned.  
  
"I'm going to go hit the showers." I grabbed the towel I had brought with me and slid out of bed.  
  
"Sounds like a good idea." Charlie grabs his own towel and stands up stretching as he does so. I avert my eyes and snagging my wash bag, head out of the door, hearing Charlie pad after me.   
  
A torturous ten minutes later and we're picking our way through our dorm room to collect some fresh clothes. Torturous because they have communal showers here, Charlie had to borrow my shower gel and I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life. I had no idea where to look even though I knew where I wanted to look. Its times like this morning where I'm convinced I'm gay, there is no other explanation for the way I'm feeling. I pretty sure I'm still flushing red even now and I feel even more confused than I have been, which, considering the last few weeks, is a lot.   
  
We collect out clothes and head down to the canteen for breakfast, meeting the two girls on the way. The others roll out of bed and stumble down just as we're finishing and heading out. As I follow Charlie, absently listening to Connie and Julie chatting behind me, I realise I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do. To be honest I'm not sure what I *can* do other than nothing. I mean, seriously, what can I do? Charlie isn't going to feel the same way as me. All I would end up doing is losing the best friend I ever had, the best *friends* I ever had, if the others ever found out. I'd like to think that the Ducks, the people I call friends now, would stand by me no matter what I told them about my sexuality, but I'm not ignorant. I know this is something I need to keep to myself. Something to keep private, until I can figure out what *is* going on inside my head; and my heart.  
  
I just know that Charlie figures in there somewhere.  
  
The End. 


	2. Being a Friend

Title: Being a friend  
Author: Elamae  
Fandom: Mighty Ducks (Movies)  
Pairing: Charlie/Adam  
Rating: R - for pre-slash  
Series: Discoveries Series Part 2.  
Summary: Charlie's thought on his friend during the events of part one.   
Feedback: Gods yes! Flames no. I'm a sensitive little soul....  
Disclaimer: Mighty Ducks do not belong to me, Disney own them all. This story has nothing to do with Disney and the author intends no infringement of copyright.  
Authors Note:  
  
  
Being a friend  
by Elamae.  
Charlie's POV.  
  
  
I think Adam finds this as boring as I do.  
  
If his glazed expression is anything to go by. I glance over at him again and this time I catch him looking at me. I shoot him a smile, one that he returns, before turning back to something Jesse said particularly loud, near to my right ear.   
  
Don't get me wrong. I love spending time with the rest of the guys, but it's just I'm not interested in spending time talking about girls *non stop*. I'd rather spend time with Adam.  
  
He and I started spending more time together last year after our championship game, but going to different schools makes it hard. I'd really like to get to know him better. I can't explain it, but I just like hanging out with him.   
  
Glancing over again I notice that he's turned a horrible shade of red and looks a bit distracted. I shoot him a worried look when he glances over at me, but he blanks me and suddenly scrambles to his feet, muttering 'sorry' under his breath. Nobody takes any notice of his departure, except Fulton, who's hand I think he treads on, on the way out.   
  
I get up myself, picking my way over Jesse, Luis and Dwayne who have sprawled out next to my bed and head out after him. The hall is empty but the door to the bathroom clicks shut so I know where he has gone. I want to make sure he's okay because he looked a bit fazed when he got up. As I open the door, I can see him bent over the sink splashing his face with water.   
  
"Hey Adam. Are you okay?"  
  
He looks up and meets my eyes through the mirror. "I'm fine. Just got a little hot in there I think. Stuffy you know."  
  
I grin. "Yeah, it can get a little 'ripe' in there, shall we say." I look at Adam as he bends down over the sink again and I ask, "Were you as bored in there as I was?" I'm curious. Everyone else had seemed so involved in the discussion, except Adam and I.   
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Girls. I mean, they're nice and all that, Connie's great, but the way they were talking in there you'd think they were...I don't know...." I lean up against the wall and sigh. "God, I'm tired." I'm suddenly feeling very weary.   
  
He looks at me, head cocked. "Are *you* okay?"  
  
"Yeah." I turn round and smile at him, "Just wiped that's all. Catches up with you after a while." It does. Playing hockey is a very exhausting game and it can take a lot out of you. Adam looks about as done in as I do, so I suggest taking Fulton and Portman's room. Being slightly older than the rest of us they managed to wangle a double room, when they ran out of dorm space with us. Adam hesitates for a moment, but agrees.   
  
Fulton and Portman don't mind and Adam and I collect a towel each and quickly make our way to where two comfy and quiet beds are waiting for us. I'm already wearing what I sleep in, boxers and a T-shirt so I throw myself face first onto the bed. Adam sits more sedately on the edge of the bed to shuck his sweat pants. I crawl and kick my way under the fresh smelling sheets and groan softly as my body relaxes.   
  
"Night, Adam." I say softly, wriggling around some more before eventually finding the right position.   
  
"Night, Charlie," is the last thing I hear before I sink into blissful oblivion.   
  
  
When I wake in the morning, the first thing I'm aware of is Adam, staring at me worriedly. I slowly detach my fingers from their death grip on the sheets and lower myself back onto the bed.   
  
"Are you okay?" he asks concerned. "You seem a little jumpy."   
  
"Yeah," I manage to croak out. "Just startled me that's all." I shake my head to try and clear it before turning back to Adam and flashing him my best grin. I so do not want to be thinking about what has just been going through my head. I'm not going there; not now. "What time is it?" I ask  
  
When Adam says he's going to take a shower, I join him, thinking that it seems the best way to wake me up and clear out my head at the same time. I notice though that Adam seems a little nervous. I want to ask him about it, but something stops me and he seems better by the time we're heading down for breakfast. Connie and Julie meet us and they're both full of energy this morning. Adam and I sit back and let them at it. We got a good rest last night, but even then we're no match for two girls on a verbal high. The rest of the guys trundle down just as we're finishing and we grin at their half dead, half asleep appearance and leave them to it.   
  
On the way out of the canteen, I glance at Adam and find myself wondering what is going on in his head. He looks pensive again, like he has for a while now. Adam's always been a thinker, but I get the feeling there's more going on with him than any of us realise. Whatever it is though, I want to be there for him. Because I know he'd be there for me. If I trusted myself to tell anyone.   
  
I can't push him though; I won't, unless it really looks as though he needs me to. But when; if he needs me, or anyone to be there for him, I will be.   
  
Because I have a feeling that's where I'm supposed to be.   
  
The End. 


	3. Taking a Chance

Authors notes: Set during the camping bit at the end of D2.   
  
Adam's POV.  
  
  
I think he knows.  
  
He's been looking at me really strangely the last few days. He hasn't said anything, but I think he knows something's wrong.  
  
When he gave up his spot on the team for me, I couldn't believe it. I walked into the room and told Coach Bombay that my wrist was healed and when he told me that he had a full roster my heart sank. When Charlie stepped forward though and told me I could have his spot. I wanted to hug him, I really did. Of course I didn't, but I did touch his shoulder. The only thing I could safely do without looking odd. Later he told me that he felt it was his place to give me his spot, because it was his suggestion to take Russ onto the team and thus fill my spot. I told him I didn't mind and that by stepping down, he had done something very special for me. He had actually hugged me then, something that I replay in my mind often. Of course, when we'd won and everyone came dashing onto the ice in a frenzy I had hugged Charlie then. Charlie had seen me skating over toward him and had welcomed the huge hug that I threw at him. Times like that are the only opportunities I get to really throw my arms around Charlie and not be worried about what other people, or Charlie, may think.   
  
When I was given the flag after we had won, I knew *exactly* who I wanted to give it to, who I *should* give it to. He deserved it. He'd given us as much coaching and support on the bench during that last game as Coach Bombay had and even before then. Charlie has always liked, I think, the planning and thinking part of hockey as much as the actual playing of it. He revels in both aspects.  
  
But what I remember the most about that game is the look I'd seen Charlie give me as I was about to take my shot in the penalty shoot-out. Most people probably thought I was looking at Coach Bombay just before I took it and I was; at first. But my gaze slid over to Charlie who was stood next to him and who met my gaze with a look that I couldn't quite decipher. It seemed to reach right inside me though and I know that the goal I scored was for Charlie, to prove his decision was right, in giving up his place for me.   
  
Now as we're all sat here around the camp fire I can still feel his eyes on me. I try not to look though. Everyone is around us, even Coach Bombay, Miss McKay and Mr Tibbles. I'm squished in between Jesse and Luis, while Charlie is over next to Goldberg. We're all sat here swapping ghost stories, even Tibbles, whose story I think scares even Portman.   
  
I raise my eyes a little and meet his gaze, as I find him looking at me again. I let my eyes linger this time and don't look away. He doesn't either. Again though, I can't read his expression and it frustrates me slightly. He's not smiling, but he's not frowning either. Instead he looks pensive, thoughtful and at that moment I really want to know what he is thinking.   
  
I suddenly remember that Charlie and I are sharing a tent tonight. We're all in small double tents and when they were dished out earlier I found myself grabbed by Charlie. The camp out was Coach Bombay's idea, as a treat the last night before we all fly back to our respectful homes. But the thought of sharing a small tent with Charlie tonight fills me with both fear and exhilaration.   
  
I raise my eyes yet again and Charlie's gaze is there. He drops it quickly to the ground this time, before being caught up in a playful scuffle with Goldberg and the bash brothers.   
  
Everyone's slowly retiring to their tents now. Its getting fairly late and everyone's tired from the game and the hard work of the last few weeks. The air has a restful feel though, everyone's mellow and relaxed. I watch Charlie get to his feet after Goldberg leaves and then Fulton and Portman disappear as well. He says goodnight to Coach Bombay and Miss McKay, who are still talking quietly and heads over to our tent on the far side of the clearing.   
  
Connie and Guy have gone, as has Luis. Jesse is in deep discussion with Russ over something. So I wait a few minutes, soaking up the last dregs of atmosphere before heading over to the tent myself. Kneeling down, I open the flaps and crawl in. Charlie is in the middle of pulling his T-shirt over his head and pauses when I come in. I try not to stare but I know that my smile is somewhat forced and I think he does to.   
  
We both continue undressing in silence, gathering our toothbrushes and heading over to the water tap. Crawling back into the tent we both slide into our respective sleeping bags. Charlie shuffles around in what I have learned is his usual customary manner before eventually settling down to sleep. I curl up on my side, hand under my chin, facing the centre of the tent. Charlie has all but disappeared inside his bag and considering the way the temperature has dropped tonight I don't blame him. I slide down further into my own bag, but don't take my eyes off Charlie.  
  
"Are we okay?"  
  
Charlie's question takes me by surprise. "What?"  
  
He turns over and peers up from inside his bag. "Are we okay? Because," he pauses and drops his eyes, "I kinda got the feeling that something's wrong and.." he pauses again, his voice softer, "I kinda got the feeling it might be me."  
  
He sounds so unsure and worried that my heart goes out to him. "I'm sorry," I say, but I can't tell him that its *not* him and he notices. His eyebrows drew together and his face drops slightly.   
  
"What did I do?" He asks quietly.   
  
"Nothing," I say quickly. "It's not you. Its me." I stumble slightly over the half truth, half lie. He frowns further. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately, that's all." God, how 'in-my-thirties' do I sound? I turn away, I can't look at him right now.   
  
"You can talk to me, you now."  
  
I turn back and he's looking at me so earnestly that I blurt out, "I can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because...."  
  
"It is me isn't it?" And he doesn't look insulted this time or worried. Instead he looks almost curious. "Adam, what is it?"  
  
"I can't tell you" I say desperately, rolling away again.  
  
"Adam, please." I feel his hand on my shoulder and shiver. "I'm worried."  
  
I'm feeling so confused right now. And frustrated. I want to tell him so much, but I'm so scared of what will happen. I can't loose Charlie as a friend and I know I will if I say anything. "Charlie, please. Don't."  
  
"What?"  
  
I shrug his hand off and listen to the stillness that follows.  
  
"Sorry," he says after a few moments. "I didn't mean to offend you."  
  
"You didn't."  
  
His hand goes back to my shoulder tentively and I close my eyes as he gently applies some pressure. "Adam, please, look at me."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Please, Charlie."  
  
"Adam." He applies more pressure and I go with it, turning to find Charlie leaning up on his elbow, his face inches from mine. "What can't you tell me?"  
  
Something in me snaps, whether it is the look on his face or the fact he is so close I don't know but what I do next is so completely out of control I don't even realise I'm going to do it until my lips touch his. Its a kiss so quick and brief I've hardly registered I've actually done it until I'm staring up at him in shock.   
  
I'm battling between feeling the shocking tingles of electricity shooting around my body to the reaction of touching his lips with mine and the mind numbing fear of what I've just done. Neither one is winning yet, so I'm just sat frozen in horrified shock.   
  
Charlie hasn't moved. His face is a mixture of shock and something else I can't interpret. He hasn't pushed me away yet but I don't want to wait to see the look of disgust filter into his expression. I'm scrambling up to get out of the tent as soon as is humanly possible when I feel his hand once again on my shoulder.   
  
"I'm sorry, so sorry," I mumble, "I don't know what came over me. I don't know why I did that."  
  
He tugs on my shoulder and I stop talking and tentatively turn back. He's not smiling still, but there's a look in his eyes, on his face that makes me pause. He tugs on my shoulder again and I lie back down slowly. He leans back with me until we're both lay side by side again. I can feel him looking at me still and my heart feels as though its beating its way almost out of my chest.   
  
A hand tentatively moves across my chest and a warmth floods my side as Charlie pulls himself closer to me and wraps his arm around me.   
  
I can't breath.   
  
I'm holding so still as I can't quite believe what is happening. I fell him edge closer, still in our own sleeping bags, but pressed tightly together. His arm is wrapped around me, under my arm and up around my chest and I slowly, very slowly, start to relax into his embrace. His face presses lightly against the back of my neck until he's pretty much hugging me from behind.   
  
I can't move for fear of breaking this reality. It feels real; I can feel his warmth, his weight, smell his scent and feel the soft whoosh of his breath against my neck.   
  
But I still can't believe it.  
  
He didn't run, or push me away. he didn't yell at me or grimace in disgust. Spit at me or hit me.  
  
He's holding me.......  
  
  
The End. 


	4. Inner Thoughts

Authors Note: Set during the camping bit at the end of D2. Charlie's thoughts on what has happened.   
  
  
Charlie's POV.  
  
  
Oh my God.  
  
He kissed me.  
  
He *kissed* me.  
  
And.......I....  
  
......I liked it.  
  
I don't know what I was expected him to say when I asked him what was wrong.  
  
But I wasn't expecting him to do that.   
  
I've been worried about Adam for a few days now, I've known something was wrong, that there was something bothering him and I wanted to help. But I had a horrible feeling, by the way he was acting around *me* that it may have had something to *do* with me.   
  
I never guessed it was that though.   
  
I tnink I should be more shocked than I am. I mean I *am* shocked and not a little surprised of course, but I think I'm supposed to be angry; and disgusted and appalled.  
  
But I'm not.  
  
Instead, I feel.....tingly. All over. Tiny shocks down my body and a warm feeling in my stomach.   
  
I think *he* expected me to hit him or yell at him or something, by the way he flinched and tried to run. But my instinct was to keep him there. I put my hand on his shoulder to pull him back down so that we were side by side. He was tense. He looked at me and I don't know what he read in my face but he relaxed a fraction and let me pull him down. After a few moments something drove me to get closer. I don't know what or why but I needed to; I wanted to. I need to get across to him that it's okay, what he did. I don't have the words yet to say what I think, what I feel; but I want him to know that its okay. I'm not freaking out or anything; not much.  
  
I pull myself even closer until I lay pressed up along his side. He's turned so I'm almost hugging him from behind and I feel him relax a bit more as I tighten my arm around him. I move my face so its tucked in towards his neck and feel him exhale lightly.   
  
He's still scared and I don't know what must be running through his head right now. I'm not sure what's running through mine. But I do have one thought.  
  
I think I want him to kiss me again.   
  
  
The End. 


	5. Taking a Step

Authors Note:The morning after.....  
  
  
Adams POV.  
  
  
"Would you do it again?"  
  
Charlie was lay face to face with me, only inches away.  
  
I'd woken to the sensation of being in Charlie's arms. We'd pretty much stayed in the same position the whole night, with Charlie lay up close behind me, his arm around my middle. It was fairly early still, I'd glanced at my watch lying next to me and relaxed when I'd realised it was over an hour before we had to get up.  
  
I'd felt Charlie shift, his hold around me tightening before he relaxed with a sigh. "Morning," he'd said softly.   
  
"Morning," I'd replied. I'd twisted round to face him and that's when he'd asked me.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Kiss me."  
  
"Charlie...."  
  
"Please."  
  
I stare at him, not quite believing what he's asking me. "Charlie, I don't know....."  
  
He leans over towards me and presses his mouth against mine. It's awkward and fumbling and innocent but at the same time it is the most wonderful thing I have ever felt. His nose is pressed up against mine until he twists round so that we're at an angle. I can't explain how fantastic it feels to have those soft warm lips pressed against mine. I move mine slowly against his and feel his hand come up to rest on my arm, fingers gently clutching at me. As we pull back he stares at me with wide eyes.   
  
"Wow," he breathes.  
  
"Yeah," I choke out.  
  
"Is this what you couldn't tell me?" he asks softly as we both lay back down.   
  
I nod, still unsure of what is happening here. I gaze at him, trying to read what he is thinking and feeling and find myself lost. "Are you....?"  
  
"I don't know." He bites his lip. "Are you?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
There's silence as we both look at each other.  
  
"We don't have to know now, do we?" Charlie reaches for my hand between us and takes it in a gentle grasp. "We can figure it out....together."  
  
"Yeah." I smile. I falter. "But I don't think we should say anything to anybody else."  
  
He bites his lip again. "No. I don't.....I don't think they'd understand."  
  
We both nod slowly together in agreement.  
  
I think I'm still in shock. I still can't believe I'm lay here with Charlie. He kissed me. Kissed me back. He feels the same as I do. I think my brain is about to explode.  
  
I don't think either of us is very sure what is happening here, but it turns out I'm not the only one who is questioning myself. That the other person is Charlie though, is what is blowing my mind. There *is* something there between us and we're *both* feeling it. How incredible is that?   
  
I don't think this means that we're 'going out' or anything, but there's a connection between us that we're both aware of now.   
  
And its okay, because we both accept that its there and that its real.   
  
I don't know where this will take us.  
  
But I have a feeling we'll be in it together.  
  
  
The End. 


	6. Looking Back

Authors Note:Adams looks back on his and Charlie's relationship...  
  
Adams POV.  
  
  
We were.  
  
Together, I mean.  
  
Well, we didn't actually 'get together' till quite a while later, not until after we joined Eden Hall Academy and after our eventual victory over the Varsity team.   
  
We spent the next year or so after the Goodwill Games just letting things between us develop slowly. There was always the bond there between us, but we didn't push it or try to force it. We were still young and too innocent really to grasp what was going on. In fact we hardly ever talked about it for a long while. Not in words anyway. We still held hands occasionally, in private, when we were watching films together over at his place or mine, but nothing more than that. What we did do was spend more time together. Once in a while we did fall asleep on the same bed; sometimes on purpose sometimes by accident and we kissed twice more. Innocent fumbling kisses, but that to us were amazing.  
  
We both spent time, 'experimenting' you could say, with other people. Working out who or what it was we wanted. Whether this 'thing' between us was actually who or what we were. We dated a bit. Well, I tried to. Some girls showed some interest in me, but they could tell I think, that I wasn't really interested. Charlie tried to start something with a girl called Linda when we first arrived at Eden Hall, but it didn't last very long. He later told me he only carried it as far as he did to see what reaction I would have. How jealous I would get. Especially with all the business with me being on the varsity team at that point.   
  
That was not a good time, for any of us. That's one of the only times we've ever really fought, Charlie and I; and I didn't like it. We disagree certainly, but there was a real barrier between us then and it was one of the worst times of my life. Charlie apologised later for way he had behaved, saying that he felt betrayed and abandoned, cut loose from the Ducks who no longer existed. I forgave him, asking for forgiveness myself for not being stronger, but it had been confusing for us all. We'd all come through it though. Intact. The Ducks.   
  
It wasn't long after that, that Charlie and I finally took our relationship one step further. Into just that. A relationship.   
  
We'd all been invited to an impromptu party to celebrate the Ducks victory. Charlie and I had snuck away as soon as we were sure no one would miss us. Well, not enough to go and look for us anyway. Of course we'd been pretty much staring at each other the whole night anyway, so I'm surprised no one noticed, but they didn't. Whatever had been building between us over the past couple of years was intensifying that night and we both knew it.   
  
It was our first kiss for a long time and it was almost nothing like what we had ever experienced before. It started off similar, but it grew deeper and longer and more intense than ever before. I felt tingles shooting up and down my body and I knew that by the time we both pulled back I was shaking. Holding onto Charlie I could feel him trembling too.   
  
That wasn't the only kiss we shared that night or since. We officially started our relationship that night and we've been together ever since.   
  
Well, almost.   
  
There was one six month period just after we both started college that things fell apart a bit. We'd spent so much of our time together, so much of our childhood that I think we both needed time to evaluate what we had and what we wanted. We needed time to be by ourselves for a while.   
  
We both agreed that we could date other people and we both did. Nothing serious and I don't think I went on more than a couple of dates with any of those I went out with. Neither did Charlie.   
  
We couldn't keep away from each other and after six months we came back to each other, more in love and more sure than ever before. We have our fights and our disagreements, but there's nothing that we feel we can't tackle together. We 'came out' together and we faced both the prejudice and the acceptance together.  
  
I love Charlie and he loves me.  
  
I've discovered it is as simple as that.  
  
  
The End. 


End file.
